What Kind of Mother You Want to Be?

Who accompanies me on social networks (Instagram: @maedacabecaaospes/Snap: maecabecapes), unsurprisingly I spent last weekend in a different way: I did my first business trip without the kids! I went to see the second international seminar on Mothers, in Belo Horizonte, with the theme “what kind of mother you want to be?”. Of course, I’m going to tell you everything. Already!!! And then, I promise a post just to say how I felt at that experiência…rs!

I will start by answering what a lot of people ask me: what people do on a date like that? Well, it’s a big opportunity to rethink the life with kids! During a whole day, we watched the amazing lectures (from renowned experts), we hear different viewpoints (which helps us build our motherhood of every day), and we contacted the same stories to our (showing us that we are not alone!). We learn new things (and early childhood education the tips to resume his life and the relationship), in addition to having a chance to spend some time away from home, make new friends, take questions. To have an idea of how cool, were 802 participants (97% women and 3% men), of 16 States! As a blogger, I was there for it all back there and also to get good content for the blog, be more informed, think of interesting tariffs, and enjoy with friends!

Now, let’s get to the point to you: all that rolled in the lectures!

Learning how to be a mother, relearning to be woman -with the psychologist Lígia War, author of the book “inside out” program consultant and meeting with Fátima Bernardes.

Those talks about how everything works after you have kids, in which we identify in every detail! For starters, she showed some of those figures that each look and see something you know? And explained that they are as motherhood, and our relationship after her! A figure, our eye doesn’t see necessarily the same as the partner, imagine a routine stressful post children? Think about that can help resolve conflicts right? The highlight, for me, was when she mentioned the B side of motherhood, based in outpourings of patients. To think (and identify themselves in some or all) …

I didn’t imagine that …/what I did with my life?? /I hate the sexual disposition of my husband! /My mother until I understood what I was suffering with the new routine, but she said seeing the happy face of my kids was more important. I hated her …/I love my children, but I hate being a mom.

Lígia said feelings are normal, and that super arise because we’re “wounds”, fragile. In addition, it is normal to have a conflict with his own mother in these hours. Have you noticed that in fairy tales, usually has no mother, stepmother only? Because it is difficult to show that the mother does not have a good side. Yes, we all have a side B!! About men, think in 3 d’s: preparation (how many boys play with dolls?), dispute (who do best, mom or dad?) and demerit (mom always wants her way). But hey, keep in memory: the idea that nothing will be as before is a myth! Gradually, over time, the experience and consciousness of maternal life, you learn to take maternity, rescuing our side woman, and do important things just for us!

Early childhood Challenges – with the pediatrician Filomena Camilo (Dr Tulle!), one of the most requested of Belo Horizonte.

Oh people, imagine a person too, but sooo Darling!! And funny! In addition to being a pediatrician super in favor of breastfeeding and the happiness of the mommies! The talk gave a lot of information about food (coconut water box is not healthy, you know?) and essential care (without love the child fails to develop, believe?), so I’ll summarize in order to stay useful for you okay?

To internalize, and pass on:

  • The child who takes breast milk has 3.5 love of QI, and much less chance of developing diabetes in the future, high cholesterol, obesity. But breastfeeding has to be a relationship of deep pleasure. If not, you don’t have to happen.
  • If it is not possible or pleasurable breast-feeding, there are formulas that mimic this ideal model.
  • The mother must be good and take care of yourself. If she depresses, everyone in the House feel.
  • The relationship between mother and baby is an exercise (you do not have a deed to gestate a mother to him)
  • Routine is key! Sleep schedule, for example, is essential for growth.
  • Raising children is a challenge. When we make mistakes, apologizes and starts again. After all, as long as you have love, you’re right! Believe me; you are the best mom that your child may have.

In the end, the pediatrician even thanked us for being there, rethinking our maternity … And gave a last message: “being a mom is building a, and we have to be very proud of it!”.

Children: new ideas about education – with Ashley Merryman, author of The 10 most common mistakes in the education of children”

A real lesson on how to motivate our kids the best way! That’s because a brain motivated learn more and better, have you heard? And how to motivate? Firstly, it’s nice to understand that motivation is what gets you to the goal, but the goal! Interesting tips:

  • We should not praise children for your intelligence, but by effort.
  • Our feedback on tasks, attitudes and etc. is essential for our kids. Without him, there’s no learning! But, remember, it should not be just a compliment, and given all the time! You don’t have to compliment your child just because she went down a slide! Unless she has real difficulty in doing this, and have been struggling. The feedback must be sincere! Children sense when they are not.
  • Similarly we shouldn’t praise wonder and intelligence, we should not use negative words. A good solution when the son did something bad or didn’t do well in school is to ask what he thought. “How did you do?”
  • A very important thing is to let the child choose, because they feel empoderadas. Let them choose the time to do the homework, the clothes you want to wear. Why do they care so much about those choices? Because they are the only ones that can do for now.
  • Challenges are good for the child, because she feels stimulated. When the child feels “threatened” (and if I’m wrong?), learning loses …

Impact of children about the female psyche -with Laura Gutman, family psychotherapist, author of the bestseller “motherhood and the encounter with his shadow”.

Everything that Laura is very difficult to be digested thus, 1 minute. People refer to the book “the power of maternal speech” as a punch in the stomach. You could draw? At the press conference and the talk, all we’d have to put that “our?; is it true!; that makes sense!; But how to solve? “. I will try to translate the content in a simple way.

For starters, think thus: one thing that helps a lot in the daily exercise of motherhood is to ask yourself what I did for a living?”. That’s because, probably, is the same that continues to survive, and what influences the mother who is and will be! That is, was the eldest daughter and felt responsible for taking care of younger siblings, for example, that’s probably how it’s going to feel in different situations of adulthood, and maternal. But no blame mothers and ready. According to Laura, all we want and we try to do the best for our children, even though this does not prevent that they feel something bad or feel in some way that we do not want … Reflection serves to make us feel less guilty, and also to deal with the daily dilemmas and challenges of motherhood. Not that it’s simple. Look at some “pills” that I selected from the speech of Laura:

  • Memories that we have of our childhood are things named by our mothers. It is likely that we don’t remember what you felt. The level of abandonment, suffering and other feelings. We remember the maternal speech. Because mothers are those who “organize” what happens.
  • All we live more negative experiences in childhood than we know.
  • The children are to return to our “be essential”. If we don’t get in touch with what we went through and feel in childhood, we won’t be able to feel our children and what they really need in them! Only this is a deep investigation.
  • If I am guided by the essential needs of my son, he’s going to be a child, and feel loved, felt …
  • And like a baby feel loved? If the mother feels the same as he. For that to happen, she needs to be in the same emotional scope than him. And for that, she needs to understand what happened when she was a baby.
  • Crying is one of the ways that the son is to call mom for your emotional scope. It’s like and the mother out of a hot tub where the baby is, and he asked for it back.

Got confused? Save only that: get in touch with our feelings when we were babies release our children to submit reactions that… And Let’s read that book, to better understand everything! KKK … After the lecture of Laura even had help! My son eats bad – with the nutritionist Gabriela Kapim. But I had to go by the time my flight! A pity … I was told that was super cool! And you who were not there, like I told you in the back?

I hope I’ve brought information, have killed your curiosity about the event and – especially – have left the invitation to think and rethink everything that involves motherhood; Food and education to watch the wedding and with ourselves. After all … what kind of mother you want to be??