At that moment, the married life needs attention and dialogue to avoid wear and take advantage of the discoveries of new phase. “The life of the couple after the baby is unknown and a powerful event. You can’t prevent negative impacts “, points Ailton Aemelius, psychologist, author of the book” romantic relationship “(Publifolha).
One of the biggest knocks of motherhood in marriage is the way the father deals with new tasks, once the mother assumes a natural role of caregiver. That’s what destabilized the advertisers ‘ daily Marina and Ronaldo, Brazil. After three years of courtship and marriage, the two couldn’t handle the changes post-pregnancy and separation happened before the son was one. “Although we consider our relationship quiet and ideal, and we find we were meant for each other, the arrival of John messed up our routine and I noticed one side of Ronaldo who had never known: he’s just not cooperating”, says she.
Even weddings with a partnership in tune are subject to difficulties and in need of a revamp. “In the first year of Isabella, who is now three, lacked time for both of us and the baby didn’t sleep well. Almost went into crisis “, Rogério Artoni, businessman, married for seven years with Angela Fileno, a college professor. Second Dorli Kamkhagi, psychoanalyst, the adaptation phase is normal. “People are never ready. We need to learn to live with that situation and everything that it implies, “he says.
To circumvent the impact of motherhood, Roger and Angela sought solutions to the lack of sleep from the daughter and triggered a support network – grandparents, in case-to ensure at least one night a month for the two. “Despite the difficulty at first, Isabella was highly anticipated and she is awesome! A baby change our mood. We laughed a lot more today, “melts the father.
“The arrival of our son changed his routine, the relationship, the priorities and, especially, our values”, says Carlos Eduardo Yuji Abe, civil engineer, married to dentist surgeon Ana Cristina Ribeiro da Cruz Abe a year and seven months. Second Dorli, you need to see the man and the woman beyond the role of father and mother. The experts also suggest making time for the couple, put the child to sleep in a separate room from the beginning, investing in the marital relationship and talk. “Like everything else in life, nothing comes without sacrifice. But is very worthwhile, “Abe.
The marriage changes when the kid comes home. In the first year, prepare to …
- Say no to invitations. Parties, ballads, and similar dinners will be at the end of the list of priorities. It’s good that the couple has this clear agreement.
- Do less romantic walks. You’re going to eat more at home and go much less to cinema, theatre and exhibitions.
- Have sex less. There’s no way. The baby cries, the baby sleeps, the baby needs to take a bath.
- Put a third person in the relationship and split time between son and husband.
- A little less romance. The desire to buy a new lingerie or enchantment with a bouquet of flowers will decrease. But don’t forget to always these blandishments Valley!
- Have less time. The time with the baby will be rewarding, in front of every novelty, but plenty of room for everything else.
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